Grief does weird things to a person. There are all the obvious things, like depression, nightmares, lack of appetite followed by the ability to eat everything in sight. But what many people don’t discuss is what it does to your mind. I found myself unable to do the simplest things, like write a blog post or answer an email. My mind was blank, just staring at the blinking cursor.
Over the last few months, I’ve been grieving the unexpected death of my younger brother. The first few months were some of the hardest months of my life. I am forever grateful that I have the husband that I do. He has been beyond patient with me and supportive. Every time I told him I felt guilty about not writing, or updating this, he would remind me it just wasn’t a priority. Taking care of myself was more important that updating a blog or hitting a word count.
I still had to go to work and navigate the ever changing world of education. Would I be at home or online? Is that phone call going to tell me to quarantine for 14 days and get tested? How many of my students will not come to school today because of all this? How do you teacher virtually and in person at the same time? Figuring out all of that while my brain was in a fog was difficult and exhausting.
The semester ended, and then we were hit with the holiday season, which, naturally, brought up a lot of emotion, both happy and sad. Soon, holidays were over and we welcomed in what would hopefully prove to be a better 2021. I always make resolutions and this year, I made two. To read at least 20 books this year and to write 4 more novels.
The first two weeks of January flew by and I read a new book. But writing didn’t happen. Then one day, I looked at myself in the mirror and I gave myself a stern “come to Jesus” chat. It was time to write again.
Last week, after dinner each night, I found my way to the office and wrote for an hour. I didn’t set a word count goal, just to write for an hour. It was nice. It was fun. And I walked away feeling happy for the first time in several months.
I have the beginning of a new contemporary romance I am hoping to have out by April. I already spoke to my editor and friend Chelsi about my hiatus. She told me the time away is probably just what I needed. And we set up a deadline to help me stay motivated.
It feels go to write again.
I am refocusing my efforts back into my self publishing career. I want to start the YouTube channel and try a specific launch of my new novel. I will do a reveal in the coming weeks of the cover and the plot, so stay tuned for that. I will also send out requests for arch readers.
I hope that by writing and publishing these goals, I will stay motivated to do them.
It is good to be back at it.